(Alive / Burning, 2009. Photo by Vincent Bilotta)

Soulfulness. Full of Soul-ness.

I attempt to connect with the deepest parts of life. I ask the big mysterious unanswerable questions. Why are we here? Why am I here? Who am I? Who are you?

I strive to experience the fullest moments possible as frequently as possible.

Sex, drugs, alcohol, sleep, oblivion – these are ways of trying to move into a deep realm that is somewhere between life and death. I attempt to bridge the worlds between oblivion and consciousness. I bring messages from the mysterious state. Self-destruction is to partly eradicate the “self”.

Relaxation, movement, meditation, breathing – I open myself up as I am drifting off in a semiconscious state. I am in yet a third realm — not consciousness, not oblivion.

Who are the shamans? Are some artists the equivalent of shamans in our society? Is this not part of the treasured myth of the self destructive and / or tortured aspect of the creative soul? Is there truth to this myth?

There are other spiritual roles besides the shaman. There are people devoted to the religious life, those who immerse themselves in practices that remove one from the day to day existence and carry one towards a higher transcendent state.

The arts have the power to transport us to the transcendent state where for a moment we marvel at the sheer fact of existence. Some can achieve this state through science, logic, and religion; but often we believe these with our literal minds; this causes us to loose the MAGIC Seeing Mind and we believe ourselves to be IN CONTROL. If I can explain it, then I have some power.

When I am “avoiding” life by loosing myself in physical pleasure or pain or sheer sensation I am breaking down some barrier between realms. I am able to turn myself inside out.

Some art is a vision based medium and some artists are visionaries.

Sometime images come to me when I am of drifting on an orgasmic sea or lost in a fog of semi-sleep.

There is a method in the madness of sleep and escapist behavior. I press the lid down on my psyche;   I apply pressure in one direction and move away more and more until I am some where else. Sometimes it is important for the work to spew forth. Sometimes I laboring lovingly over something.

I am ether or air. I loose myself in daydreams and images. I live in a realm of fantasy.

Sometimes I marvel at and am aware of my existence and the existence of others.

Music, plants, animals, art, situations, people, and the weather contain special messages communicated only to me.

 

From the Domain of Paula.

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